Portion control and slowing down my speed of intake need to be some of my first goals…..
I am not hungry so why do I keep going back? I think it is ingrained somewhere deep inside of me, on a genetic level maybe, b/c my 2 girls are the same way. They eat and eat and eat like they have not just eaten 30 minutes before. If they are around an endless supply of food, they never stop. Yet they are beanpoles….yes skinny minny’s!
I was the same way once. I used to quickly eat firsts, then seconds and sometimes thirds and my dad would say to me “someday those second helpings are going to catch up to you.”
I laughed it off. At 5’5 and 100 pounds at 15 years old, being fat never enters your brain. Some of my classmates were on the heftier side, and already worried about what they ate. I NEVER had to give what I put in my mouth a second thought. I ate whatever whenever and was not particularly athletic, I never competed in anything physical in my life.
Just good genes I would think to myself and maybe that thought would have stuck if I would have never had babies….
Wow, as soon as I got pregnant the seconds and thirds caught up fast and with a vengeance. I put on an ungodly amount of weight during my first pregnancy. With some hard work and exercise I took it off. I thought that was it, and I could just go back to the way things always were…..NOPE! My body and metabolism was permanently altered.
A second baby and I did pretty well this pregnancy and was only 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight a week after birth.
However my metabolism was jolted again and I actually put on weight after the birth of my dear daughter number 2.
I weigh as much today as I did the day I delivered her and there is NO fetus involved this time. I cant exactly call this baby weight either, as that baby is turning three this month.
Depression about ones body is difficult. Even though I was never fat in high school I still was not really thrilled with the body God gave me. I thought my hips looked oddly connected to the rest of me….Child-birthing hips, everyone called them.
At 100 pounds I was not wearing the size 0’s and 1’s as my counterparts wore b/c of those bony child-birthing hips. I was stuck in a 5. Skinny enough for me, I had flat abs and no pudge to be found.
I just did not like the look of my naked body, the way it was shaped together seemed wrong to me. Not sexy curvaceous, but not sexy skinny either. Now it is a problem magnified with weight settled on those already big hips. A problem that can be helped with some muscle building underneath in the right places, and fat loss from the top.
No more excuses, I have the knowledge about how to get my metabolism on track and I numerous free resources (gym included) I need to get back to a healthy weight, I need to get my portions in control and let go of the life of gluttoney I got away with for so long. I am not and cannot get away with it any longer!
I am putting my starting weight here at 160 give or take a few.
I need motivation, accountability and encouragement. I will post about my daily attempts at resetting my lifestyle and metabolism. I will also try and help others and share knowledge.
This is not a diet, this is a life. A new one, I need to get.